It's dated, but funny. Back when the San Jose Jerk-The-Knee News still had some decent columnists. (Scott Willis, San Jose Mercury News):
5.0: Motion comparable to upset stomach after bad burrito. Freeways impassable.
5.5: Slight fizz noticeable in refrigerated mineral water. Freeways impassable.
6.0: Difficult to jog. White cap waves in hot tubs. Freeways impassable.
6.5: Wine racks upset. Freeways impassable.
7.0: RV's overturned. Small cars upset. Tsunamis in water slide parks. Freeways impassable.
7.5: Self-storage facilities crumble. Suction-cup shades and toys jarred off car windows. Freeways impassable.
8.0: Shopping malls evacuated. Computer gamers notice the movement. Freeways beginning to clear.
8.5: Jack-In-The-Box restaurants close. Freeways clear.
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